I know that she was supposed to have the night out with her friends at a bar, but she never really invited me. Now, as a person of decency, I refuse to attend such gathering without formal invitation and even if I was invited I would not be permitted to anyway since my parents are of Hitler's descent.
She left 10 P.M. promptly while I was texting her from my house while surfing the internet. She said that she would not drink much and I trusted her. Naturally, since we could not be together for that night, I would just text her to keep contact but I said to myself that this night is for her and her friends - how vexing it would be if she was together with her friends, at a bar, her friends enjoying the night while she was just sitting down texting me, so I decided not to text her so that she can enjoy her friends' company.
But as the clock turns by the second, my restraint over my missing her diminished and at 1:30A.M. I decided to text her to see if she was having fun.
I was shocked when I recieved a text from her saying that she was really drunk already, so I told her I was gonna go there and see to it that she is safe. I was shocked again when she bluntly responded "NO".
Of course, my instinct would tell me something is up - something not right is going on. Nevertheless, I went to her. I arrived at the bar 2P.M.
The barscene is totally new to me, and I felt like I was a goat in a flock of sheep - I did not belong there. I felt awkward when people stared at me probably thinking "who is this loser showing up at the party?". Shrugging off the feeling, I mustered enough courage to pass the bouncers and enter the bar. After searching and waiting for almost an hour, constantly calling her, I saw her going to the ladies' room. I tried to chase her but she went straight ahead and I had to hurdle the myriads of drunk people before I could get to her. So I tried calling her. She answered.
Probably hearing the loud music in the background of my call she asked me:
"Where are you?"
"You're in the bathroom" I quipped.
"How did you know?"
"Im at the bar. I'm outside and I saw you"
"Wait, wait, wait..." then she hung up.
I waited for her to get out of the bathroom and she did but before I could get to her, she sat next to this guy. Soon after they were playfully shoving each other and laughing.
The guy looked like her friend and probably was but I was not introduced to him yet, I have only seen him on Facebook. I decided to sit at my table a mere 10 feet away from them and wait until either the guy or her left, so that I can talk to her. I took a sip of the cold beer I was holding and texted her that I was in the next table but when I put my cellphone away, she was gone - and so was the guy.
I tried calling her, but try as I may, the only person answering was the voice recording "The subscriber you are calling is currently not available, please try your call later".
Did she turn off her phone?
It was almost 4A.M., I kept on looking for her, but my search was in vain. I called one of the bouncers and handed him a P100 bill and told him to look for a girl in pink, her name is _ _ _ _ _ _ _, and tell her that I was waiting outside. 10 minutes later, the bouncer returned empty handed.
So I waited for the bar to close, and then went home, grabbing a bite on the way.
A lot went on my mind.
*She didn't invite me
*She had too much to drink after promising she would not do so
*After telling her I would go to her, she said "NO"
*Her phone was off right after she and the guy vanished.
As much as I love her, a part of me thought that maybe I just do not know this girl all too well. Maybe I was played.
I had given up body and soul for her and this is what I get.
The only thing you will ever achieve from filling your heart with love is to have it shattered.
I pondered. I could not sleep. It was already 5:50 A.M. Then, my cellphone vibrated. It was her.
[Text Message]Please call!
I replied "Just text me"
"Please, just call"
"Why?"
"Sorry I ran out of battery, and you weren't there. Plus the fact that I was tipsy"(she did mention earlier she had low power)
"No I wasn't there. I just guessed you we're in the bathroom the exact moment you entered" I said sarcastically.
"I looked for you, but I couldn't find you. I thought you we're just joking, that's why I didn't mind you. I'm so sorry!"
"You could have just texted me with one of your friend's cellphones"
"I don't memorize your number, and I was really feeling sick"
"I was 10 feet away from you but you were with some guy so I decided to wait until you parted but I turn away for a second and you're gone."
"What guy? I was with my friends! Shit, I'm feeling so sick. How was I to know if you just guessed where I was? Please call"
I could not bear another text message. As much as my pride resisted to call, I followed my heart and picked up my cellphone and dialed her number.
We talked, she explained everything. She didn't see me that's why she left, thinking I was just kidding. For a brief moment earlier on my way home from the bar I said to myself that I would just forget about her, never text her again, never talk to her and move on, but I could not do that - I love her.
I told her that as much as my logical thought point towards the idea of her being a flirt and everything, I would rather believe that nothing was wrong even if it was true that she was with another guy. I would make a fool out of myself, but I'd rather do that than forgetting about her. I could never erase the mark that she has left in my heart.
After a long conversation full of apologies and tears, I decided to swallow my pride and apologize too for being indifferent. I told her that no matter what, I would always love her.
It's funny how love can make you believe in one thing, then change it, then change it back - all in a matter of a few hours. It's hard to choose what to believe in - all I know is that I love her and nothing is gonna change that.
alanfrancisang
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